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5 Best Forgiveness Techniques.

5 Best Forgiveness Techniques.

Forgiveness is not as farfetched as we make it out to be. Forgiveness is within reach for a willing heart and for anyone who truly understands why forgiveness is urgent.

Sometimes we hold back the need to forgive because we are scared of being hurt by that person or group again.

However, forgiveness doesn’t mean to lay down your guard around them; it just means you are no longer resentful and bitter towards them.

To lay down that hurt and pain in your heart, you can do the following;

1. Arrange a meeting with the person who hurt you and talk about it.

Meeting up with someone who hurt you in the past can be very daunting. Naturally, you would feel anxious meeting such a person face to face.

If you choose this method of forgiveness, make sure to meet in a public place; for your own safety and comfort, especially if the person had been aggressive in the past.

In case you need any time of support, asking a friend to come with you will be an excellent idea. Facing your fears and taking them by the horn would reward you with A Currency Called Confidence.

2. Call them up on the phone and speak your mind to them.

If you feel too nervous to face the person(s) who caused you pain in the past, it is perfectly normal. Don’t worry much about it, you do not need to meet up with them if you don’t feel like it.

Sometimes the people who previously hurt us could have changed for the best or perhaps could have become even more sinister. Having those two scenarios in mind is very important.

A safe way to forgive and to let out what was in your heart is to; pick up your phone and call them, talk to them about the pain they caused you, how it impacted your life and the reason why you decided to phone and forgive them. When you’re done, you can give them a chance to speak or you could hang up and leave all that hurt behind you forever.

A friend of mine had fallen out with her elder brother for cursing disrespecting her and her kids. They both went for years without taking to each other. After explaining these forgiveness techniques to her, she made the bold decision to phone her brother.

When he answered the phone, he couldn’t believe that his sister had finally forgiven him. They both ended up crying so much on the phone, and have since reconciled.

3. Write them a letter and express yourself to them.

According to psychologist, writing is a form of expressive therapy that utilises the act of writing and processing the written word as therapy.

Writing therapy suggests when you pen down your feelings, it gradually improves feelings of emotional trauma.

Tell this person in your own words, what they did to you, how you perceived it, and what you have decided to do going forward.

4. Send them a message via text.

Just like writing a note or a letter, you can also text the person who offended you.

If you chose not to revisit the hurt, it is very okay to write the simple words “I forgive you for all the pain you caused me.”

This will also give you a sense of satisfaction and new beginnings.

5. Reach out on social media.

In the past, when someone in my close circle had hurt me, I would delete their telephone number from my phone, and block them from reaching me via text or any of my social media accounts. I was that vindictive and ignorant! Not anymore.

If you are guilty of this, perhaps the option of text message or a telephone call is now unavailable to you, because you deleted everything in your moment of anger.

To resolve this issue, you could simply go on social media and search for them, send them a private message.

6. Pray and pen down all your pain.

You may or may not be aware of this, but sometimes hurt people would inadvertently hurt you.

Most times, they’re ignorant of the pain that is eating you up and tearing you apart. Such people are legitimately surprised when you behave in a resentful manner towards them.

If you never want to open up to this individual, you can simply go down on your knees, pray and ask God to help you heal.

Another thing you could do is to pen down the hurt you’re feeling on a piece of paper. You should forgive them on the same piece of paper and release them from your heart.

The next thing to do is either to let this piece of paper sail in a river or you can burn it to ashes.

This is the method I personally chose to use. I just couldn’t bring myself to meet, or hear their voice. So I felt more comfortable writing down a letter addressed to each person on my forgiveness list.

I also got rid of everything that I possibly could, that would ever remind me of that hurt. I deleted photographs, burned physical pictures, changed anything else that needed to be handled. All these actions made my slate clean and I could start afresh as though that person never existed and the hurt never occurred.


Forgiveness is an essential skill to learn in order to sail smoothly through life and in order to achieve forgiveness, several techniques can be used. Some of these techniques include meeting in a public place, phoning them, reaching out via social media, sending an in person text, praying about it and writing down your hurts, or writing a letter/email to them.

It is my wish that you found this helpful. May this article be a catalyst for your decision to forgive that friend, neighbour, in-law, parent, sister, brother, aunty, uncle, lawmaker, classmate, colleague, ex husband or wife, ex boyfriend/girlfriend, and anyone you may have been carrying in your heart and overburdening yourself.

God bless you, and I look forward to seeing you on the other side, totally transformed and making great strides in your life.

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  • Yong Tracy
    Posted at 06:18h, 12 October Reply

    Wow. It has gotten to me. All I can say is God should help me with this journey of forgiveness.

    • youngandindependent
      Posted at 07:50h, 12 October Reply

      He sure will. I have been there. My own sibling told me i was going to be so useless, that i would beg for food in the streets.. i was able to forgive that. As long as you understand that it is not for the other person, forgiveness will become like a morning cup of tea

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