Why No One is to Blame for the outcome of your life

Take charge of your destiny

by Syl Tamanda

So many times I have wondered why Africa seems to be blessed with everything else and more, yet is labeled as one of the poorest if not the poorest continent on the planet.

In this article, I shall be discussing steps that people living in poverty can do immediately to start a life-changing experience.

According to the World Bank, Africa is ranked as the last continent on the poverty frontier with 422million people living below the poverty threshold, with a rapid population growth rate that is forecast to triple by 2050.

Despite such horrendous statistics, I strongly believe that the fate of Africa is in the hands of Africa. If only we would all heed to the words” charity begins at home”, then is the revival going to begin.  

The most I hear from people back home is, times are hard, there are no jobs, you need a god-father to gain employment, men want me to sleep with them before they offer me a job, my relatives won’t help, that my so and so abroad has never sent me a penny, the government is corrupt, things are expensive, you can complete the list. LOL

After the long list of complaints, the next statement that follows is, “I have to leave this country (man need for fall bush).” If you missed my article on Money Does Not Fall from Trees Abroad, I encourage you to read it.

Overriding Poverty with these steps.

For Africans to rise above the poverty threshold, and the negative image and labels stamped on the continent, we have to do the following;

Step 1: Abandon the blame list.

Nobody in history has ever achieved anything by complaining. Ask yourself this simple question, since I started complaining, how much change or improvement have I experienced in my life?

You spend the best part of their day whining and discussing the list of their problems to people who 80% of the times don’t care, and 20% of the times are glad it’s you. Time is precious and must be used judiciously for the improvement of our lives and the lives of others.

Read this article on how to mange your time properly.


Step 2: Work on Your Personal Development.

This point is super important and I could go on hammering on it all day. So many people who complain about ill-luck and their poor circumstances often do nothing to change their situation. I was on a zoom call last night to discuss ways in which I could improve my skills to achieve my goals. And one of the things Alec said to me was “when people don’t know what to do with their lives, it is because they lack the knowledge.” And as my mentor Jim Rohn so nicely put it, “don’t wish things were different, wish you were better”.

I encourage you to read this article on How To Achieve Personal Development.

Step 3: Practice the Rule of OQP(Only Quality People)

Someone once said, show me your friends and I shall tell you who you are.

You see those sorry-asses, good for nothing, male or female friends that you are hanging out with, please drop them TODAY! They are no good for you.

Recently I severed all ties with someone I thought was my friend because her energy was too negative for me, and she indeed tried to discourage me from my goals. During our conversations, I realized that she was the typical housewife who spends all day complaining and would succumb to abuse because of financial security. And to make matters worse, she was broke! She had no ambitions and some of her side comments suggested that she was intimidated by my drive. If I must, I want friends who are living the life I want to live or those who can push me to higher heights. How can anyone deliberately invite jealousy into their lives in the name of friendship? If you use a fine-tooth comb to go through the friends in your life and pay attention to what they say, how they say it, and when they say it, you will uproot the cause of your failures and setbacks. Some friends will say things like;

Why are you always studying as though you are the only student on earth. Some will even call you “Marybook.”

– Why work so hard on a company that isn’t yours( na your papa e company?). They will discourage you from earning a promotion!

– I can introduce you to men, who are wealthy and can foot your bills, why work too hard when you can have free money. ( Misery loves company).

– Don’t be too stingy to spend, you will die and leave all the money behind. ( They want you to never save to start your own business).

– Don’t bother applying for that job, you won’t get it. (They don’t want you to grow and leave them behind).

– That business won’t work, it’s oversaturated don’t get into it. ( Never take advice from anyone who is a failure themselves).

– I know a native doctor that can make you pass your exams or travel abroad. ( Setting a spiritual trap for you to fall into).

As my mentor, Les Brown would say “if you hang around 9 broke people, you will end up number 10.”

See the source image
source: Bing.com Choose only quality people

Step 4: Make Lemonades with your Lemons.

Many people complain about hardship but they are incapable of making the best of what they have NOW! If you can’t manage the one talent that God has given you, it shall be taken away from you and given to those who already have more( Mathew 24:14-30).

People spend their time watching comedy shows on Facebook, all WhatsApp groups have been flooded by arguments about Russia and Ukraine, nudes and gossip has got us hooked, yet we wonder why we remain broke after all is said and done. Perhaps the following questions can serve as a guide towards your lemonade preparation;

What skills do you have NOW?

-How much have you got NOW?

-Who do you know that can provide you some ( mentorship, coaching, financial assistance, or guidance) NOW?

-What are your capabilities NOW?

-What level of education do you have NOW?

-What job can apply for with what you have NOW?

-What business can you start NOW?

There’s nothing wrong with comedy or enjoying yourself with some soya, a cold beer, and whatever you enjoy doing. But remember that to be able to get something you have never gotten before, you have to do what you have never done before. Try to change your behavior and your mindset, experiment with new things, take risks, and keep persistent until you get what you want out of life.

“ In order to harvest money, plant money seeds. And the way to do that is by rendering services, only then, will the money follow”. Dr. David J. Schwartz

Step 5: Accept Reality and Deal with it.

One thing is true and certain, and that’s the fact that life is hard!

We go through stuff and we sometimes wonder who we offended in the spirit realm. We ask God “why” it happened to us, as though we had a list of other people it should have happened to instead.

Someone once said “everything good will be attacked”, therefore we shouldn’t go through life naively. We cannot change the seasons, but we can look into every adversity with optimism and dig out the good in it.

When my father died, I never stayed on the floor crying my life away. The news of his sudden death knocked me to the ground; thank God I landed on my back, not my face. For as long as I was able to look up, I was able to get up from that tragedy. And I have often said that my dad’s passing brought out the fighter in me.

Keep going, keep fighting, keep giving your best, and until death knocks on your door, refuse to give up the promises of God for your life(Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future…”)

“ All that you can do is all that you can do. And all that you can do is enough. But Make sure you do all you can do”.

We can’t change the family into which we were born, we can’t change how we were born(physical challenges or medical conditions), we surely can’t change the city, country, or continent in which we were born, yet there’s one thing we can change.

Every one of us can change the outcome of our adult lives through the tiny insignificant choices that we make. Before you complain next time, remember that nothing is going to change until you change. If you have managed to acquire the information required for you to change, have you the motivation to pursue the goals that you have set for yourself?

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