Teaching our children the ropes of independence

by Syl Tamanda

Parents have a fundamental role to play when it comes to how children eventually turn out in life. This article discusses what we should know as young parents and what to do about it.

Who is a parent?

A parent is anyone who naturally births a child or decides to adopt one. Whatever the case, as a parent, you must provide for your children in accordance with the law.

Who is a guardian?

Some children below the age of 18 have a guardian who is an appointed person to make legal decisions on their behalf.

Who is considered a child?

Most countries consider anyone under the age of 18 a child. They are not considered capable of making certain decisions for themselves. My sister is excited for her 18th birthday. Because she is a minor in the UK, her work is restricted. Her working hours are limited, and she is not allowed to open her own bank or brokerage account. She requires a custodian.

source of image: canva.

What does parenting mean in real life?

I didn’t fully grasp the nuances of parenthood before my son. My first came when I was 21. So I got pregnant 2 years after I stopped being a kid. So a child had a child.

When baby J was born, I was very insecure and didn’t know where to begin. My grandmother and mother came to my apartment and helped me for months with chores, bathing the baby, washing his clothes and bottles, etc.

Their assistance had to come to an end, as they both had to return to their daily lives. That’s when reality hit! Aside from staying awake with a hungry and whining baby, the child’s habits will need to be taught. In my case, I had to return to work three months after J was born.

Whether I liked it or not, I had to teach him to be self-sufficient. Some grown men are so clingy that I wonder if they were ever taught independence.

Discussing 2 popular cliches about raising kids:

1. Are chores bad for my young child?

I make my son do chores. He began chores at age 5. Every day, he knew he had to get up early to sweep the lawn and pick up stray pieces of paper.

Was there a fight? Sure! Boys will be boys. He resisted and cried, but I explained the importance of contributing to the family’s overall well-being, which includes cleanliness.

He’s 9 now and knows how to clean up after himself and wash his plate. He only eats one breakable plate and knows how to wash and handle them.

He also recognises that breaking any will cause daddy and mummy to spend money to buy a new one. Money could have gone towards doing something else for the good of the family.

2. Saying “No” to children

Saying no to children as and when could be the best upbringing that any parent could ever give that child.

As parents, we are often tempted to think that saying yes to all the demands that are made by our kids is a display of love. You are simply teaching your child how to be entitled and spoiled.

Because guess what, whether you like it or not, your child will face rejection in the real world and you will not always be there to shield them. So why not teach them from a young age that “No” is also an answer and that’s alright too?

Conclusion

Being a good parent or guardian is not a walk in the park. Far from it! Parenting is an art, and while we have to learn to tailor our approaches, I believe some basic rules will apply across the board. Teaching our kids to contribute to the greater good of anything will inform them very early on that they must do their part of the work for everything to turn outright. This one thing can make them really good classmates and team members. Also, teaching our children to say no early on can be beneficial. Realising they won’t always get their way will help them cope with life’s challenges.

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